elmo’s wordings

I have found something out for life helpiness, that you may all want to know, it is but amazing, I was going to keep it to myself, but i thought no, I shall share it with the world.

What is this life help stuff I hear you ask, well fret no longer, for I am about to tell you.

It is, HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A FROZEN POLE.

I just konw that one day you will find yourself in that exact situation and because you have read this, you will be forever thankful that i shared this fabulous information with you.

1. Do not pull the tongue off the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful

2. Move closer to the pole. Get as close as possible without letting move of the tongue touch the pole.

3. Warm the pole with your hands. A tongue will stick to the pole if it is very cold. The top few layers of the tongue freeze when it touches the pole, causing bonding. PLace your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes. If hot water is available pour it on the tongue and pole.

4. Take a test pull. As the tongue warms, the frozen area should thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole, you may leave a layer of two of skin, which will be painful, but the tongue will heal quickly.

And there you have, fuck knows what you were doing licking the pole in the fucking first place.

”Hey mum, watch this”

”Ah wha tha fuh, ma ton ih shuh to tha pohe, help ma”

Well now you know what to do.

And apart from this, today i found 3pound fifty pence.

wicked awesome day.

I have college again tmorrow.

fuck